When the clock chimes. With a bit of effort, a little luck and the right outlook, starting the New Year as you mean to go on can be the key to finding love in 2023
Was New Year's Eve designed especially to make single and lonely people feel unbelievably aware of their relationship status? Sometimes, it can seem like it.
And as a single guy, it can be especially easy to opt for another Netflix night on the sofa with Papa John, John Smith and Ben & Jerry. Indeed, finding somewhere to go on December 31st that doesn't involve being surrounded by smooching couples is pretty much impossible, and besides - what's the point in making all that effort. Right?
Actually, you might just be wrong. There are much better ways to ring in the New Year. Aside from NYE being a key social event when you're single and ready to mingle, it can also be enjoyable and fulfilling - even if you’re by yourself.
Here are some tips for gaining positive momentum, and starting 2023 as you mean to go on.
1. Take time to connect
Were there members of your family or friends how were simply too busy to chat during the festive season? Now's the time to schedule in a call.
This could be someone you know well, but it may also be time to take a leap: Maybe try reconnecting with your best friend from school - the one you haven’t seen in what feels like a thousand years - or dropping a line to an old work contact. What's the worst that can happen? Even if they don't reply, you have lost absolutely nothing, but could gain a whole lot.
This can be a great way to re-connect with what feels like the wider world, and can encourage you to be braver in your interactions: not just within friendships, but also when it comes to dating and business. This is a key skill worth harnessing as we move forwards into a new year.
2. Get out and about
Guys, just because you’re hanging by yourself doesn’t mean you have to sit at home alone. Loneliness carries a stigma but don’t let that stop you from reaching out and joining in with others, if that’s what you want to do.
Go to a New Year’s Eve party - or even host one yourself. If a big bash isn’t your thing or you suffer from social anxiety, you could invite a friend over or meet up for a few drinks somewhere.
Not feeling like sharing New Year's Eve? Check out the local museum or art gallery - you could be surprised at what you learn and who you encounter. Try that cocktail bar you’ve been hearing about or watch a movie you’ve been dying to see.
If you're so inclines and not sure what to do alone on New Year’s, get dressed up and go out solo for a night out! No rule says you have to have a date for New Year’s Eve and doing things for and by yourself can feel liberating and empowering. Be open, look around, and start conversations with others wherever you can - you never know where they might lead.
If you’d rather not go out at all but still want to connect with others, spend some time chatting on social media, over Zoom, or on the phone. This can do wonders to boost your mood.
3. Enjoy setting expectations
Try to be excited about 2023 and the potential that it holds. Start as you mean to go on, and imagine the upcoming new year with optimism. You don’t have to set immense goals or resolutions. Instead, make intentions that you will stick with.
Where do you want to be at this time next year? What kind of person would you like to meet? How are you going to position yourself in order to achieve this?
Small changes to your actions can make a transformational change in your life over time. It’s like steering a ship: a minute change to steering can alter your whole trajectory of your life.
Setting your intentions doesn’t mean that everything you want will magically manifest before your eyes, but it can help you create a mindset that propels forward movement toward your desires - whatever they happen to be. So get excited for your future!
4. Remember: Life is not perfect
Maybe 2022 has been pretty awful for you. Things may not have gone your way and you’re struggling to find something to feel happy about - especially if you find yourself alone on New Year's Eve, when emotions tend to be amplified.
If you’re reading this, that means you’re breathing. It means you’re alive: there are still so many things to be grateful for - even if you have to look deeply for them.
Social media is partly to blame for comparison culture, and it can mean that - especially at this time of the year - everyone seems happier than you are. But please don't be fooled: there are no perfect relationships. Even though we ‘know’ that social media only gives us the highlights of someone’s life, it still plants a seed in our minds that our lives or situations (or relationships) are not as good in comparison.
So, be mindful moving into the New Year, and try not to compare your 'messy' Backstage with someone else's carefully set stage - there is always much more going on under the surface.
Even if last night’s dinner was beans on toast because that’s all you had in the cupboard, simply being grateful for having a meal can help shift your focus away from the fact that it wasn’t the ribeye steak your neighbor was eating.
You can’t feel envy and gratitude at the same time because the feelings are incompatible with one another.
5. Stop to admire your accomplishments.
It’s tradition to make resolutions at the start of every New Year but most of the time, they don’t amount to much and end up making us feel worse instead of better.
Instead, this New Year's Eve, why not make a list of the things you accomplished during the past year? Often we're so busy in our everyday life that we don't stop to take stock of this, but it's important that we do.
Even the small things you did during the year - paying off a bill, helping a mate through troubles times, painting the porch - are all worth acknowledging.
Sure, you may not have solved world hunger, but the act of writing down everything you did will help you to see that you did things over the course of the year, and collectively, these are cause for celebration.
Doing this can help ease feelings of new year depression by helping you establish a positive mindset when the clock chimes midnight.
So this New Year's Eve, put in the effort, take the time to connect and reflect and be proud of yourself - with the right approach, 2023 is yours for the taking.
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