- Stacy | Founder
The Problem with Cuffing Season and Why We'd Prefer a (Happily) Cuffed Life
Cuffing is for life - not just for Christmas. We're all about the meaningful (and healthy) long-run.
Here at REDDI, we're passionate about longevity - and we don't like timewasting, and that's the problem with 'Cuffing Season' - which brings with it some mixed feelings.
Sure, we understand that as the weather starts to turn cooler, people may start seeking relationships to get them through those upcoming long, chilly nights - and we love to encourage our community to take brave, bold steps into the next phases of their lives. But as there are undeniable pros and cons, it's vital for us to treat our search for love with the seriousness that it deserves - with long term success in mind - regardless of the season.
Here are a few key points to consider when it comes to more purposeful, mindful dating.
There's no rush.
While we don't want to waste precious time - rushing into something with someone who is unsuitable is in fact, the ultimate time-waster (and in some cases, life-waster). Many of us can inadvertently end up in 'Situationships', many of which are the result of Cuffing Season. It's no wonder that one of the new dating trends is 'Slow Burn Love' and why it's what everyone is searching for.
Not only could you waste weeks, months, or even years of your life knowing that deep down, your partner isn't right for you, but you could also waste energy, inclination and eventually, run out of enthusiasm and give up on dating altogether. This is especially prevalent in men, who tend to be more prone to giving up dating after a negative experience.
You could also have your heart broken if your goals for the future are unaligned - or very easily, hurt the other person for having led them on for shorter term gain.
There's kindness in authenticity
When you first sign up to a dating app such as REDDI, you'll want to put your absolute best effort into finding that special connection - and we think that's great! But it can be tempting to embellish your profile, promise what you can't deliver or mislead others in order to obtain maximum interaction.
Try not to give into this temptation. The kindest thing that you can do when you're telling people about yourself and showcasing the great person that you are is to simply be honest - and then you can be confident that the people you attract really do like you for you, thus maximising your chances of a great, authentic match.
'The One' is worth the work
Could you log onto a dating app and find 'a date' for the weekend? Yes, most likely. And that's the world that we live in now. But 'quick wins' do not deliver fulfilling futures.
In the same way that you would take careful consideration over a new job, or buying a home, you must do your research, and wait until you truly believe that you have found something special - or in this case, someone.
You are better to look carefully every day and take a year to find your forever-partner (which, don't forget, can account for 90% of your overall happiness...) than to jump blindly at every single opportunity to date people just because you might like the way that they look - only to find that in fact, it was never going to last. That's precisely what #CuffingSeason can be guilty of.
That's one of the reasons why we've built science and psychology into our app. Taking the time to complete a test to establish your own Attachment Style is the perfect example of investing your time wisely, building self-awareness and maximising your chances of an appropriate match. (Do give ours a try, if you haven't already!)
Dating fatigue is real
Dating takes effort. Even when you've set up your profile and are enjoying the interactions with potential matches - it can take its toll on your emotional resources.
And what about real life, in-person dates? If our professional lives are already full to the brim, it can be challenging to find or make the time for a dinner, lunch, or even a coffee. It can become exasperating! So it's important to reserve this time for those who you can get excited about meeting - not just someone who you feel obliged to meet - just to become coupled up in time for a season, or in order to tell others that you are in fact, 'dating' (often, just to stop them from asking...!).
The Cuffed Life
#ThankUNext? That's not for us. Finding someone to 'cuff' with for a mere season, only for our enthusiasm and attention to fade come Valentine's Day is in fact the opposite of our what we strive to achieve as a new dating platform.
At REDDI, we want to help our members to find a partner with whom they can be happily 'cuffed' to - for life. That may not always involve marriage, but what it does mean is the matching of two individuals who have respect, acceptance, companionship and compatibility in abundance, where they can agree from the offset about their goals, and build an authentic, lasting relationship with one another.
