Dating as a single parent is tough, but it's also more than possible. It's about balance, timing - and remembering that you're allowed to focus on yourself once in a while (no, really, you MUST)
Here are a few key points to remember as you embark on your journey.
Your kids will ALWAYS be your priority.
As a single parent, your needs will always come first. You are the main focus of your child's life, and with that comes a lot of responsibility - and hard work. This can be daunting when you want to add dating into the mix, but it shouldn't be an excuse not to try! There are times when logistics might not line up perfectly for you - and sometimes that means having to turn down great opportunities because you have other obligations. That's okay! Your kids should always come first, and if something is going to upset them or cause problems at home then it's probably best not to do it in the first place.
However, don't let parental obligations stop you from dating. You deserve happiness, too! Don't feel guilty if things aren't working out; just try again next week - or next month! The important thing is that while your children are young, they will still need their parents around as much as possible; so don't be afraid of saying no when something isn't right for either party involved (including yourself).
You don't have to tell every date about your kids, but...
There's no reason at all to hide your child or children's existence from the people you date. In fact, it can be helpful for your date to know that you have someone else in the picture - especially if he or she has kids of their own or is thinking about having kids someday. This may also apply if it raises questions about previous partnerships that you would prefer to keep private.
If you feel more comfortable waiting a while until you tell your date about your family, then that's your prerogative - especially in the early stages. But long-term, successful relationships are built upon honesty and trust; so this is something that I'd personally want to promote from the very beginning.
There are advantages and disadvantages to dating as a single parent - but they're all outweighed by the benefits of getting out there again! You might find it easier than expected to meet people who understand what's going on in your life right now - even if they don't see themselves becoming parents themselves anytime soon. It doesn't matter how old they are; everyone deserves love!
You can be honest about wanting a relationship.
- Honesty is always best.
- There is no shame in wanting to date and fall in love again, especially if you’ve been single for a long time. If you want to find someone who makes you feel like the most important person in their life, then do it!
The only thing holding most of us back from moving on is our own fear of rejection or judgment from others. We often assume that other people will think we should be grateful for whatever scraps they choose to throw our way - or that they would prefer us alone, because having kids has made us undesirable. But if this were true (and it isn’t!), what does that say about them?
- Your kids are not your reason for staying home every night after work with Netflix and pizza instead of going out on dates - they're just the ones who get left behind when you decide to go have fun!
Let it go if the other person isn't interested.
When you're dating as a single parent, you can say what you want and let it go if the other person isn't interested. You don't need to worry about what other people think or want, because they don't have anything at stake in your relationship - not like when you're single and looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. The best part about this is that being honest about what you want doesn't hurt anyone; it's just an opinion of yours versus theirs! If someone makes fun of your desire for some alone time every once in a while, well then so be it: everyone's entitled to their own opinion!
Don't rush things.
When you are a single parent, it's easy to feel like you need to find someone as soon as possible. You may want to speed up the process because you're afraid that if you don't, there might be no one left for you at all. Or maybe the thought of being alone scares you so much that even an imperfect partner seems better than none at all. But this isn't a race - take your time and enjoy getting to know people without worrying about when they will decide they want more out of their relationship with you in terms of commitment or exclusivity.
It's about finding the right person for you, not the right person for your kids.
As a single parent, you have to be honest about what type of relationship you are looking for. This can be hard since you don’t want your kids to feel abandoned or neglected by their parent(s). However, if they sense that they are not important in your life and that they will only see their parent as often as the other person wants, this can end up being hurtful for everyone involved.
The key is finding someone who understands all the challenges of being a single parent, yet still wants to be with someone who has those challenges -- not someone who just wants an easy life without them. It takes work on both sides but it can happen when both parties are willing!
It's okay to feel guilty, but don't let it stop you from being happy.
You are going to feel guilty. That's a normal part of being a parent. You should never let guilt stop you from being happy, even if that means putting yourself first sometimes. If you want to date someone new, do it! Don't worry about your kids - they will be happy for you when they see how much happier you are with someone new in your life. They know that they are the most important people in the world to you and they love spending time with their friends and family members but sometimes it can get tiring having their mum constantly around them all day long!
Dating practicalities.
One of the biggest challenges for single parents is dating and finding a partner. This can be difficult because most people haven’t been in your situation before, so it might take time for them to get used to all of your unique circumstances. It seems obvious that the easier way would be if you found someone who already has kids, but that obviously isn’t always an option.
The best thing you can do when using dating apps is just to be up front about everything from the very beginning - not just with how much time and energy you have, but also how much money (and what kind) will come into play in any potential relationship. If they’re not interested in being involved with a single parent or don’t want to deal with raising another person's children (even temporarily), then at least now they know where things stand!
Conclusion
Dating as a single parent can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be. After all, dating is about you and your partner. It’s not about having kids or not having kids - and it shouldn’t be.
You deserve love and happiness just like everyone else! The best way to find that? By focusing on yourself, the things you enjoy doing most when you date someone new. And remember: if it doesn’t work out with this person, try again with someone else. At least now you know what works for you in relationships as well as in parenting.
Try Reddi for a different approach to dating...
Related reading: Why Do Men Stay Single? The Top 25 Reasons (and Unfiltered Truth) and Throning: The Newest Dating Trend Putting Partners on a Pedestal.
