As a single person, Christmas is never easy. Not because it's dreadful - but rather, it is a time whereby the life that you may 'dream' of - or hope to have - is all over social media.
I'm also pretty sure that what is put on social media is possibly even the opposite of what people are actually feeling - so rationally, I get it. It can be hard for many people - single or not.
I still feel like a child at Christmas at times - not in regards to presents, but rather, I still feel like the third wheel within my Mum and Dad's marriage. Whilst some couples alternate between their own and their partner's family - I of course, have nowhere else to go.
We are also not a big family: Christmas is fairly quiet, so I can find myself at times dreaming of something different (beyond spending time with my folks).
I do love coming back to my parents' house, though. As I'm self employed and work from home mostly, at Christmas I get to spend around three weeks 'away', which in many ways is a Godsend. Mum's cooking every night (I pay less attention to this at home, when cooking for just me, for example) and sharing some of the responsibility of my son, Milo is a welcomed break.
I've been really trying to feel more positive about my own dating journey. I actually even quite fancied someone recently! But wasn't quite sure what to do about it... In many ways, I just don't feel ready for it yet. The time isn't maybe quite right - although, saying that I most certainty wouldn't turn it away if it were knocking on my door.
Since having Milo, if I am honest I haven't felt like the same person - I mean, everything feels like it has changed. My body, my desires, and my increasing tiredness levels... I can understand why, when a woman has a baby, the father often feels left out, or pushed aside. You get 'touched out' - and having a partner who also wants to touch you could become, erm... well 'challenging'. So, dare I say I'm grateful to be single in that regard.
Of course, I'm speaking only for myself and as you know, I have zero experience of having a baby as part of a couple, so excuse me if I'm completely off the mark - you may be all 'at it' after all :P
Anyways, back to Christmas. I do understand that, for many this is a difficult time, not just for those who don't have kids, but it may be that you have recently separated or got divorced, and it's your first year away from your children. Or, you may even be a 'seasoned pro' at sharing your kids over the festive period - but I'm sure it still makes you feel sad at times. Learning how to do Christmas, or just putting one foot in front of the other (my moto) is a conscious skill you need to practice every day, because the alternative is that your emotions may become all-consuming which leads us only to a place called nowhere.
This Christmas, I actually feel excited for the year ahead - so much so, I just want to get on with it. I feel energised again, and ready for what is ahead - I am seriously manifesting a whole host of fabulous things - so I shall keep you posted on those as we go through the year.
I want to take this opportunity also to say thank you to you all.... REDDI is still very young (I have to remind myself of this daily) having just launched a few months ago, we're making many mistakes and what we current have isn't our ideal product, nor at times the product you want. We are scrappy, but determined to make not just a difference to each of you as individuals (I care significantly about what you want), but also have BIG ambitions for disrupting the industry: making dating a socially responsible activity which enhances wellbeing, rather than degrades it.
So thank you, and for those celebrating - Merry Christmas from me and the team....!
'til next time,
Ps Before the end of the year - I'll update you on what's next....