Founders Blog: "I'm Single and I Hate It." There - I've Said It...
I hope this Founders blog finds you all well,
I hope you have all been enjoying the holidays and are looking forward to saying goodbye to 2022 with a bang.
I have spent the last 3 weeks with my parents, and coupled with the holidays it has really got me thinking about my own relationship status (or maybe it has just been thrown in my face a little more lately). This time of year is often seen as proposal season after all, and of course social media is full of 'happy' families enjoying the festivities. BUT, without sounding like a grinch......
I am sick and tired of reading all of the single and happy quotes.... I always feel totally disconnected when I read such 'supposedly empowering' sh*t, that I feel almost repulsed.
Okay, so... I'm being dramatic... But the fact is this: if you also happily admit that being single is not the dream - or the goal - and you'd like the opposite, then you are somehow put into another category: the one whereby you must be unhappy, lonely, or lack some form of love for yourself. I think this is relevant to all genders too - with men having less permission to even talk about their desire to have a relationship.
So, let's break this down. Firstly, I am happy. Or should I say, I am content. I'd even go as far as to say that my own independence and satisfaction with life is the reason that I, at times, lack the motivation needed to go out and find a partner. As most of our members are high-performing professionals, you'll understand that it can also be hard to find the mental and emotional space amongst all the work noise - or even come up for air to think - never mind focus on finding someone to ride the inevitable storms with.
Having spent the majority of my adult years as a single person, I also feel that, as a securely attached woman, each year it gets harder to find someone who makes all of the 'effort' worthwhile (perceived or not). My life is pretty good, after all.
I felt the same way when I decided to have solo IVF. If it wasn't for the fact that my eggs were literally dying, I wasn't in desperate need to have a baby. On both accounts - I felt that one day, it would just 'happen'.
I don't sit here counting the days; I don't cry into my pillow, or get overly concerned about being alone, or raising my little boy solo. <