Love Languages: How Conversation Can Boost Connections
We know that it's good to talk - but feeling understood can also lead to lasting love.
Time to Talk Day 2023 takes place on February 2nd, and encourages us have honest, open conversations. This not only benefits our emotional wellbeing - but also seeks to deepen our levels of understanding in order for our relationships to flourish.
Taking our time over great conversations doesn't just enhance our romantic partnerships, but also boosts understanding within the workplace, and with friends and family. We can even reach out and talk to people we don't know as well in order to build new bonds.
Within our personal relationships, it can often be easier to chat about mundane topics - such as what you want to do at the weekend or what you fancy for dinner tonight. Your busy life becomes your daily focus, and therefore the focus of most of your conversations.
As important as it is to discuss everyday things, you must also value long, in-depth discussions for real growth in your relationship as a couple.
Here are three of the ways that talking on a deeper level can lead to enhanced love and longevity within your relationship:
1. You'll discover their emotional needs
All relationships have ups and downs, but taking the time to talk, truly listen - and respond - can make it easier to deal with conflict and build a stronger and healthier partnership.
Supporting your partner emotionally means you talk to them when they’re going through difficulties or struggles. Addressing serious issues and taking your time over key conversations allows you to ask significant questions - and better understand what your partner is going through, how it's making them feel, and how you might impact that.
Discovering how they respond emotionally to various scenarios can also better-prepare you to support them, understand their personal triggers and become a better partner yourself. Some things you learn may surprise you! But all lessons can help you deepen your understanding.
It's been proven that being with someone who you feel understands you through your highs and lows can greatly increase your affection for one another. After all, if you're loved at your worst then you know that the love can endure any obstacles.
2. Trust, honesty, and respect are enhanced
When you and your partner see talking as a priority, you learn to be honest and open with one another. There is no topic that is off-limits, which creates a strong sense of trust and respect for the other person.
It also creates solidarity within the relationship. Healthy bonds are often built over time through the layering of conversations. This is usually through learning, honouring one another’s feelings and boundaries - and supporting each other during bad times and good times. (And it's also true that boosting trust can enhance confidence and sexual intimacy with you partner, too!)
This is why people who have been through a trauma - or indeed, have worked their way through challenging times together - tend to maintain unbreakable bonds: it is our experiences that can unite us, and this is never more true than when navigating the twists and turns of a long term relationship.
3. You'll get to know them - and what matters most
Your discussions may go off on a tangent - but that’s a good thing. These little detours lead to meaningful conversations that flow naturally to the next topic and deepen feelings of ease and trust, allowing your support for each other to become apparent for your relationship to grow closer.
Deep conversations allow you to share what’s important in life. After all, your life partner needs to know how you feel about family, work, politics, and other 'dealbreakers' - and through talking we ascertain our values, get reassurance that these are aligned, and can become aware of any any possible contradictions.
And taking the time to talk can also be a valuable opportunity to let them know about what really matters to you. It enables you to feel heard, and therefore valued - while enjoying being appreciated for who you are, accepted for your perceived flaws, and discovering more about your partner as they share what’s important to them.
If you don’t know what your partner is going through or what matters in their life, you’re missing out on really knowing them as a person - and if you do discover some details that surprise you, or find that your future goals are not aligned, you can at least make informed choices based on honesty moving forwards.
The importance of 'Love Languages'
One of the biggest misconception about how to communicate in a relationship is that communication is the same as 'just talking' or occasionally going through the motions of making conversation. Communication in relationships, at its core, is about connecting and using your verbal, written and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs.
Much of this may depend upon your partner's Love Language. You can read The Five Love Languages We All Need to Learn to discover why different people respond in different ways - and express love in their own, unique way.
Why not start a conversation to ask your partner what their Love Language might be?
This 'Time to Talk' Day, remember that as humans, the more we talk, the more we feel connected to one another. Being more mindful with our communication can help you grow closer to people, and there’s something extraordinary about how this develops your affection for one another - maybe even leading to love.
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