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Understanding the Alpha Female: Exploring Energy Dynamics in Relationships


Career Woman Dating
Alpha Female

Finding the right partner can be a complex journey, especially for highly successful, go-getting, independent women who seemingly have it all together.


But despite their achievements, they often find themselves wondering why they are still single. This article delves into the dynamics of feminine and masculine energy in relationships to shed light on why some strong, independent women struggle to find a suitable life partner.


By exploring the interplay of energy and understanding how opposite energies attract, we can uncover valuable insights that may help the alpha female navigate the path to a fulfilling and balanced romantic connection.


Exploring Feminine and Masculine Energy Dynamics


Let's explore a theory on feminine and masculine energy and how opposite energies attract.


Firstly, it's worth noting that we all possess both masculine AND feminine energy, and we fluctuate between both. However, there is one sphere that predominates. This energy is not determined by your sex or sexual orientation. Rather, it is determined by examining our deep-rooted desires and needs.

According to our Founder, Stacy Thomson, a relationship expert, masculine energy dominant individuals want to be respected, to lead, and to take charge. They typically lead with their brain versus their emotions. They are the aggressors and the initiators in a romantic dynamic. On the other side, feminine energy dominant individuals lead with their heart first. They feel that their needs are met when their feelings and emotions are tended to. These individuals take on a more passive approach to relationship initiation and are happy to "go with the flow."


The Alpha Female Dilemma


Many highly successful, go-getting, independent women seem to struggle in finding a suitable life partner. Let's use one of our members, Sam as an example to shed some insight. As a career woman (a Lawyer), she has learn't how to climb the 'corporate' ladder and achieve professional success in a highly competitive, male-dominated industry. In order to survive and succeed in this environment, she has had to learn and cultivate many "masculine" skills.


The 'Western' corporate environment rewards decisiveness, competitiveness, and risk-taking – which are traditionally 'masculine' characteristics. I've become skilled at taking charge, being a planner, and looking after my team and clients. This way of being has worked well for me in my career. However, after playing this role constantly in my work environment, when I come home, I want to revert back to my natural state – which happens to be quite the opposite. I am naturally soft, I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I relish the times when I do not have to be the decision-maker and planner.


Energy Dynamics and Relationship Challenges


But playing the part of the go-getting alpha in my corporate life doesn't seem to turn off when it comes to my personal life.


Through repetition and habit, I have a learned way of being where I live in my masculine energy. As a result, I've found that I would attract feminine energy men and get extremely frustrated when they are passive or don't take charge enough.

Even if a man is not necessarily feminine energy, when in a dynamic with such an overpowering masculine energy, a precedent is set. In my case, I would end up being the decision-maker, planner, initiator, and make-it-happener. This pattern also occurs in my friendships, where I take on the role of masculine energy, and many friends will then take on the feminine energy, letting me make the decisions/plans while they sit back and just "go with the flow." It can actually get quite annoying and exhausting.


Finding Balance and Attraction


When our Founder meets powerful single women who are not having any success in the relationship department, she has noticed this same commonality. They want a masculine energy partner but are attracting feminine energy men and then complain about it afterwards. A lot of times, these women come off more "hard" than soft and approach relationships with the alpha, masculine energy they are accustomed to using in their professional life.


But it doesn't work. Masculine energy attracts feminine. Feminine energy attracts masculine. If you feel you're in this situation, here are a few suggestions that may provide perspective:


  1. Determine Your Natural Energy State: Are you naturally masculine or feminine energy? When you're not in a professional setting, what do you desire and crave? To be the one in charge, to lead, to be respected for your mind, and to be the pursuer? Or do you crave the relief of not having to be the decision-maker? Do you want to feel taken care of and have your emotions nurtured?

  2. Determine What Energy You Want To Attract: Get honest with your needs. Is masculine energy what you really want to attract? Or perhaps you just think you want this due to socialisation, upbringing, and other influences. Maybe you naturally live more in a masculine energy state, and therefore a feminine energy mate is a better fit. Ask yourself what type of energy you truly want to attract and then play your role accordingly.

  3. Play Your Role: If you want to attract masculine energy, then allow potential partners to play that role. Don't set a precedent of being the masculine energy and then expect the dynamic to switch once you're in a relationship. Things will balance and fluctuate, but there is one state that predominates. If you are the one who is the aggressor, making plans, and making all the decisions in the dating process, you set a precedent for the dynamic.

  4. Soften Up: If you are masculine energy (or you just take on this state due to habit and training), we encourage you to soften up. Being "hard," stubborn, stuck in your ways, not opening your heart, and masking your human vulnerability will not open the doors to creating a deep intimate bond with anyone. It takes incredible courage to be vulnerable and authentic. It takes tremendous strength to be love and to be open to receiving love.

We are in no way suggesting for you to present a fake persona in order to attract someone. We're simply suggesting you "relearn" your way of being.


Peel back those layers of defense mechanisms and walls built from years of disappointment, pain, or feeling rejected.


When it comes to relationships, take off that shield that you've been rewarded for wearing in the workplace. Find your natural state of energy and be honest with the type of energy you feel is a complimentary match to yours.


To wrap this all up, it's as simple as this - understanding energy dynamics in relationships is crucial for finding a compatible partner. By recognising and embracing your natural energy state and being open to the energy you want to attract, you can create a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship. So, let go of rigid roles and allow the right energy to flow, paving the way for a deep and authentic connection.


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