Introduction
Attraction is not an exact science: sometimes you're into someone who isn't into you, and vice versa. However, studies have shown there are certain things you can do to increase your chances of getting a date. In this article, we'll take a look at the psychological principles that can help you turn a casual friendship into something deeper.
Looks matter.
Looks matter, even if you don't think they do.
Studies show that:
- Men prefer younger-looking women-women who look 10 years younger than their actual age are considered most attractive to men. And height matters too: women who are shorter than their partners (by up to 4 inches) report more relationship satisfaction than taller women. Height and age preferences are related: men prefer women whose ages are close to their own, while women prefer men older than themselves by an average of 3 years.
- Women have their own set of preferences too: they like guys with symmetrical faces and breasts that are equally sized on both sides (which is called bilateral symmetry). The reason for this preference may be related to health-that is, having more symmetrical features means you're probably healthier overall!
Women like nice guys, but not too nice (unless they're looking for a long-term relationship).
Studies have shown that women are most attracted to men who are nice and have a good sense of humor. However, these same studies show that being too nice can make you unattractive to women. Women like guys who are attentive and understanding, but not so much that they become clingy or overly emotional.
It's important for men to remember this in order for them to be successful with women: You need to be nice without being too sensitive or emotional about it. If you're naive and don't understand what makes women tick, then it's likely that your efforts will fall flat on their face due to lack of experience (and maybe even common sense).
Women want men who are taller than average - and men want women who are shorter than average.
It's well-known that women want men who are taller than average. According to a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, most women prefer a man who is 6 feet tall or taller. What's less commonly known is that men also prefer shorter women. In one such study of over 10,000 participants from 14 countries, it was found that men rated short women as more attractive than their tall counterparts - by an average of 0.35 points on a scale from 0 to 7 (where 5 represents average height).
This preference for "average" height may be due to evolutionary pressures and our instinctive desire for survival: Women have always needed strength in their partners because they're tasked with giving birth; therefore, they're more attracted to larger men who can provide protection and resources for their offspring. Similarly, since men are physically stronger than women on average (though not always), they're probably drawn toward smaller females because they don't pose an immediate threat if there's danger lurking nearby-and this makes sense when you consider how much faster we moved during caveman days compared with now: If someone was attacking your cave dwelling back then and wanted access inside so badly that he'd break down its door just prior breaking through yours' barrier between him and you -- would you rather have been able to run away fast enough so he couldn't catch up? Or would you rather still be standing there like an idiot?
We're attracted to "compatible DNA."
We're attracted to people with different MHC genes than ours.
This might seem strange at first, but it actually makes a lot of sense. Remember that each of us is attracted to someone due to their unique scent. If you were to meet someone and find them physically attractive, you'd probably be smelling their pheromones (sweat and hormones). One thing that determines whether or not two people are "compatible" is how similar their sweat smells.
Think about what happens when we're around someone who has the same body odor as us: It makes us sick! This happens because our immune system treats it like an attack on our bodies and goes into overdrive trying to fight back against it-which is why some people get nauseous after eating spicy food or drinking alcohol while they have a cold.* Because these scents come from our bodies, they're also related to our DNA, so if your potential partner's DNA matches yours too closely, it could cause problems if you decide to have children together later on down the line-so don't let attraction override common sense here!
We're more attracted to people who smell like our parents.
Your subconscious may also play a role in your attraction to others. A study from the University of California, Berkeley found that women were more likely to find men attractive if they had a similar immune system as their own. In other words, we're most attracted to people who smell like our parents-even if those smells are unconscious.
When we're trying to attract a potential mate, our bodies become more symmetric.
Symmetry is an indicator of good health and fitness, which means that when we're trying to attract a mate, our bodies become more symmetric.
Psychologists David Perrett and Andy Jones found that the more symmetric a face was, the more attractive it was judged. They also found that the most symmetric faces were often confused with beauty because symmetry is not the sole indicator of attractiveness; other factors like nose size and shape can play roles in how we perceive someone's physical appeal.
Choosing your mate to have a family.
When it comes to mate selection, most people like to think about the "perfect person." That perfect person may be someone who is similar to you or different from you; someone with whom you share commonalities or experiences.
In fact, research has found that we are attracted to people who have traits associated with our own personalities and interests, so many times when we meet someone new and start dating them, they seem like a good match because they share some of the same interests as us. However, this doesn't mean that the relationship will last long term-in fact, when researchers looked at what made relationships last over time (from years instead of months), they found that attraction-based similarities were not predictive of whether or not couples stayed together long term! Instead they identified four other factors: friendship/emotional intimacy; commitment/trust; closeness/time spent together; and satisfaction/sexual chemistry. Attraction alone cannot predict a successful long-term relationship!
Why we want to mate with someone attractive to have offspring.
It’s hard to say exactly why we are attracted to certain people. Some say it’s nature, some say it’s nurture. The truth is that both of these factors play a role in determining our attraction, but what about genes?
Scientists have found that humans are attracted to those who have similar DNA profiles. This means that if you share a lot of DNA with someone else, you will be more likely to find them attractive and perhaps even want to mate with them. This explains why siblings tend to look alike: they share the same genetic code so their facial features will resemble each other because of this fact.
You may wonder how this information can help us choose our partners more wisely; however, there is one major problem: you never know whether someone has similar DNA until after you get married!
attraction is an evolutionary response.
Attraction is an evolutionary response to the need for reproduction. It's a survival mechanism, which explains why we're attracted to certain things and not others.
The Seven Deadly Sins are Lust (sex), Greed (money), Gluttony (food), Sloth (laziness), Wrath (anger), Envy (jealousy) and Pride aka Vanity. These sins are considered deadly because they can lead to pain or death. We’re inclined to be attracted to people who share similar interests and dislikes as us because it means our kids will also have those traits, helping them survive through tough times if needed. That said, we tend not be attracted too much in common with someone else as this would make it difficult if/when we split up later down the road when our lives take different paths due to career changes or new relationships etcetera!
When we're trying to attract a potential mate, our bodies become more symmetric.
You may have heard that symmetry is an indication of good health, or that symmetric people are more attractive. But how does this work?
- Symmetry is often confused with beauty. Symmetry and beauty are not the same thing. While it's true that many animals and plants use symmetry in their appearance as an indicator of health, humans are not as simple. We're constantly evolving, so what's considered beautiful today (round faces) might not be considered beautiful tomorrow (longer faces).
- The most important factor to consider when looking for a mate is fertility. If you're looking for someone who can give you healthy children, then you should look at more than just their face; there are other factors too! For example, research has shown that women who have heavier thighs tend to have higher levels of estrogen-and estrogen increases fertility by helping them ovulate more regularly and get pregnant faster after conception occurs
Attractive people are treated differently - and have better lives - from the moment they're born.
According to a study in the Journal of Epidemiology, attractive people are more likely to be hired, receive a better performance evaluation, and get promoted than their average-looking colleagues. Attractive people also have an easier time getting loans and receive lower interest rates on those loans - and they're more likely to be seen as intelligent. Attractive students are more likely to receive better grades from teachers than less attractive students, even when the former group doesn't perform any better academically than the latter. In addition, attractive defendants are treated more leniently by judges in courtrooms.
Sometimes, there's nothing you can do about being attractive.
While you may not be able to change your genetics, you can increase your desirability by working on areas that are under your control. For example, if you find yourself feeling unattractive because of the way you dress or groom yourself, then it might be time to make some changes in that area. But remember that this is only one aspect of attractiveness and there are other things that make a person attractive as well.
Finally, keep in mind that the right person will notice these qualities about you regardless of how much effort went into improving them or not. Your attractiveness comes from inside-from who YOU ARE and what YOU DO rather than from what YOU LOOK LIKE!
Conclusion
Here’s what we can conclude from the research: There is no magic formula for attraction, and it isn’t just about physical looks or a catchy pick-up line. While there are lots of factors that play into attraction, like personality and shared values, it all comes down to how you make your potential partner feel. At the end of the day, someone who makes you feel valued and respected will go much further than someone who only focuses on their own needs in a relationship
Related reading: Unveiling the Psyche: Exploring the Id, Ego, and Superego in Dating and Relationships and Male Fertility: Why Conceiving Isn't Easy.
